Bullying: Do as we say...

Tomorrow, February 29, 2012 is Pink Shirt Day. Pink Shirt Day encourages all of us to wear something pink to symbolize that we as a society will not tolerate bullying anywhere. While Pink Shirt Day started in Canada it is quickly becoming an international movement. You can find more information on Pink Shirt Day  at http://www.pinkshirtday.ca/ or  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anti-Bullying_Day. Just Google it and you will find lots more information.

Turn on the news any night and chances are there is a report about bullying. We hear about it everywhere: stories on the news from kids and parents who have experienced bullying, conversations with parents at the school about incidents that happen, and children telling their stories about being bullied time and time again. It breaks our hearts every time we hear about a young child who has taken their own life because they can no longer live with being bullied. When we hear about such an incident, society demands that a program be brought into the schools to teach children about bullying, we protest and carry signs and light candles, celebrities get on tv and tell us that bullying has to stop, and there is a cry to bring legislative change to address the issue. We commit to wearing pink shirts once a year so we can stand up against bullies, stating we will not tolerate it anymore

But what are we really doing? Bullying programs, legislation or national days of support to stop bullying are not working and you know why? Because we focus all our efforts on stopping bullying in children. Program after program teaches children what a bully is, what they should do and what the expectations are of them.  This is great information but the message we adults are giving children is  “Do as we say, not as we do”. You only need to turn on the TV and watch the news, read the newspaper, attend a sporting event, or even have a conversation over coffee to see that bullying is alive and well among the adult population. It is rampant in all aspects of our society: in the workplace, at sporting events and even in the halls of politics. What is unacceptable behaviour in a child, is accepted as normal and is often encouraged by other adults. Some political organizations can be heard to claim that they have been bullied by another simply to justify their outrage because they did not get their way in an issue. Leaders, be they political or not, are some of the worst offenders.

Bullying will never end as long as we continue to teach our children that bullying is unacceptable in our schools yet ask them to live in a society where the adults believe their bullying behaviour is not only acceptable but encouraged. We are our children’s role models and we cannot nor should we expect our children to stand up and act against bullying if we are not willing to do the same. It needs to STOP NOW. It is time for the adults in our society to begin acting as we expect our children to act with respect to this issue. It is time for all adults to be positive role models to our youth.

One Mom’s Story: Why Kids Need to Know HOW to Learn Rather Than WHAT to Learn

Recently, while visiting friends I was able to watch something that, to me, clearly defines why we need to look at changing how we educate our youth. This is what happened:

“Mom was working on a website building course and she was having some problems. She asked her daughter, who graduated in 2009 for some help. Her daughter had spent a year at post secondary taking technology courses that included website development. As the two sat down at the computer and mom explained what her problem was, it quickly became very apparent that there was a bigger problem. Her daughter, who was very good at website development, became extremely frustrated very quickly because the program her mom was learning on was different than the program she had been educated with. She said a number of times that she only learned a specific program and she only knew how to use the program that she took her training on. In the end she told her mom that she could not help her because she did not know what to do.”

As I was sitting and watching this interaction I realized I had seen what some in education have been talking about: that we needed to change teaching practices to be more about teaching students HOW to learn rather than WHAT to learn. The simple fact that using a different software program could frustrate this honour student to the degree that it did was eye-opening. She had been educated in a system with a curriculum that focuses more on content and less time on how to learn in general.

So why do we need to shift the focus from WHAT to HOW? Are we doing our youth any favours for when they get into the work force if we are only teaching them the WHATS? When our children finish their formal education they will enter the workforce and they will find that things will be very different from the school environment they are used to. The biggest change they will notice is that not every business or career work environment is the same. We do not live in a uniform society, so we need to ensure that we provide an education that provides our children with the skills necessary to adapt and thrive in an ever-changing world. Additionally, employers of today are looking for individuals who can be independent thinkers, can adapt to different issues and programs etc. Just look at any job search and their requirements.  There is not much call for the industrial line worker anymore.  Kids need to be able to think outside the box to address and solve issues that arise in today’s business world.  

I am a product of an education system where we decided what career we wanted to go into in high school and we went onto post secondary education for the training. We knew that the career we chose would most likely be our career for life. Experts are now predicting that the students of today and tomorrow will probably have 8-13 different careers in their life. Long term job security is a thing of the past.

As parents we want the best for our children and that includes learning the skills necessary to ensure they are successful in their adult lives. If, for them to be successful, we need to change how education is delivered, then that is what we must do. If we are going to provide an education that is more personalized, we need to spend less time on content learning and more on learning how to learn and how to use those learning skills to adapt to different situations. Lets direct our energies to changing the curriculum to focus more on teaching the HOW to learn rather than the WHAT to learn.

Lori, 4Moms~1Dream

Partnership or Teamwork?

When we talk about the relationships between parents, educators and school trustees we often use and hear the phrase, Partners in Education. The word partnership implies a formal agreement between two or more parties that have agreed to work together in the pursuit of common goals with shared influence, risks and rewards. For the most part the individuals within a partnership expect to equally participate in making the decisions.

Teamwork is the process of working collaboratively with a group of people in order to achieve a goal. A team consists of more than one person, each of whom typically has different responsibilities, skills, knowledge and roles: each person brings something  unique and of value to the team.

A partnership cannot work effectively when everyone involved expects to be part of the final decision making. When members of the partnership are left out of the decision making process or are not happy with the decisions made, conflict and animosity builds and resentment grows.

However, in team work,  members understand that the responsibility of making decisions lies with some individuals of that team. The power of teams lies in having people work together, sharing their ideas and experiences to support a common goal. Healthy teams ensure that all members are part of the process but recognize that the responsibility for making a final decision might rest with someone else – in other words not the group as a whole. 

Our education system is set up in such a way that specific people hold the responsibility of making final decisions after consulting with others who have a vested interest in education. When a decision is made and is contrary to the  advice provided through consultation, tensions rise and discontent settles in, which challenges the relationships.  However, if we change our mindset to one  of teamwork rather than partnership, we are able to make better decisions about  how to educate our youth. Being part of a team, where everyone has a role to fulfill, where everyone understands the roles and responsibilities of their fellow team members, and every member is valued, will ensure that the best decisions are being made. The added bonus is that it allows you to tap into an enormous reservoir of talent, knowledge and creativity that will assist you in your personal learning and growth as a team member.

The structure of the education system today in BC sets the stage time and time again for frustrations, distrust and even anger. As long as we continue to act and communicate as partners in education rather than team members in education, the climate will not change – be it as the school, district or provincial level. We need to change our mindset from a relationship based on partnerships to one based on team membership and we need to do it sooner rather than later.